Who’s driving your bus? I’ve been thinking about self leadership. What it takes to succeed in business. To be both emotionally and financially rewarded for the risks we take.

In transactional analysis, there are 3 personas we adopt. The Adult, Parent and Child.

At any moment we can choose how we show up.

As an Adult you live in the here and now. Responding rather than reacting. Looking for solutions. Being effective and rational without being judgmental. Seeing all sides of the situation.

The Parent is your critical self. You’re likely to give instructions like, “Don’t do this…”, “Always do this…”, “Be this…”, “Stop doing that…”

In short being judgmental, with a tendency to make decisions for others – like a parent with a young child.

The Child can act like a victim. “It wasn’t me…”, “It’s not my fault…” Often looking to blame others rather than taking responsibility.

So how does this relate to business?

While we’re all emotional beings, acting out the parent or child roles stops us from taking self responsibility and can have a very negative effect on the people around us, from our co-workers to clients.

As a leader, blaming others for your own mistakes or shortcomings destroys trust and respect. If your organisation’s culture (read your people) acts as if you’re always right in the face of customer complaints, you’ll soon destroy your reputation.

At its core, leadership is a decision, not your position. (Thanks Matt Church)

You choose to be an agent of influence and impact.

I can say from personal experience over 6 decades, it’s not easy to always be the adult. To remind myself that I have the choice of self-leadership. I’m a work in progress 😊

Over to you. Whatever situation you find yourself in, will you ask yourself are you acting as the adult, parent or child?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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