Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a classic book by John Gray.  In it he describes how both sexes interact.  I’m going to put this into a sales context.

At its core, men like to solve problems.  Tell me you’ve got a problem, and I’ll want to jump in with a solution.

Women don’t do that.  They empathise.  Listen.  Ask more questions.  And don’t jump into providing solutions.

Given this, as men, in sales conversations once we’ve uncovered a problem we tend to jump into solution mode.  Providing insights and information.

We like to feel knowledgeable and believe that the more we share our expertise, the more likely they’ll be to engage us.

But that can backfire badly.

At this point your prospects are not interested in how much you know.  They’re interested in whether you really understand them and what they’re going through.

Be empathetic.  Listen for what’s really going on under the surface.

Help them understand the gravity of their situation and the root cause of their issues.  Delve deep.

Become an expert who demonstrates you understand their problems better than they do.  This creates a far greater level of perceived competence and trust.

You’re not there to showcase your competence to convince them to buy from you.  You’re an expert with the compassion, desire and patience to help them understand what they don’t understand themselves.

Big difference!

So men, the next time you feel the urge to solve, as a mentor of mine used to say, bite your tongue until it bleeds.

Once your prospects really feel you understand them deeply, they’ll ask you for recommendations.  Only then should you oblige.

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