One of the most useful abilities in sales is being able to step outside your own perspective.
Most salespeople default to one view – their own. You’re sitting across from a prospect, you’re listening, and you’re responding to what’s said. That’s valuable, but it’s only part of the picture.
In NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder introduced a concept called perceptual positions. It’s a way of deliberately shifting perspective so you can see more than just your side of the interaction.
There are three key positions:
- First Position – Your point of view. How you see, hear, and feel the conversation.
- Second Position – Stepping into the other person’s shoes. What is your prospect seeing, hearing, and feeling when they interact with you?
- Third Position – An uninvolved observer’s perspective. Imagine you’re watching the conversation from the outside, noticing things both of you might miss.
The real skill lies in being able to mentally switch between these positions. From the first to understand your intent, to the second to truly empathise, and to the third to catch nuances – tone shifts, body language, hesitation – that often reveal what’s really going on.
It may sound a little abstract, but practiced consistently, it becomes second nature. And when you can do this, you’ll uncover truths in conversations that most salespeople miss.
Now, this same idea applies beyond live conversations.
When it comes to understanding what your clients really think, the best insights often don’t come directly to you.
Why? Because clients rarely tell you everything to your face. They hold back, soften the edges, or avoid saying something they think might upset you.
That’s where a third-party interviewer comes in. From a “meta-position,” I can ask the questions you might not be able to, and dig into the answers without emotional attachment.
If a client tells me they didn’t like something, I don’t take it personally—I explore it. More importantly, I uncover opportunities for you to expand services, gain referrals, and capture powerful case studies and testimonials.
So, here’s the takeaway:
- In sales conversations, train yourself to switch perspectives in the moment.
- For deeper client insight, bring in a neutral third party who can reveal truths you’ll never hear directly.
Both approaches give you a clearer, more complete picture—and that’s how you improve, win more business, and build stronger client relationships.
If you’d like my help with client interviews, reach out.
Call me on +61 414 913 334
Or email Rashid.Kotwal@revealedresources.com
