There’s a fundamental question in sales… (and dare I say, life in general)
Do you want to be liked… or do you want to be respected?
In my early 20’s, in one of my first big corporate roles, I had a reputation as a bit of a take-no-prisoners operator.
I remember asking a few colleagues one day, “Am I aggressive in my approach?”
They laughed.
“Aggressive? No. Arrogant? Definitely.”
And look… with the confidence of youth, I genuinely believed I knew what I was doing.
Most of the time, I was probably right.
But being right didn’t always win me friends.
Fast forward a number of years.
After studying NLP and behavioural psychology, something shifted. I became far more agreeable in my sales approach. More patient. More accommodating.
And in some ways that was a good thing…
But when I look back, there were plenty of moments where it didn’t serve me at all.
Because I wasn’t being “nice.”
I was trying to be liked.
And when you’re trying to be liked, you soften your edge.
You avoid the hard questions.
You let vague answers slide.
You hesitate to challenge someone, even when you know the truth will help them.
Which brings me back to the question…
Liked or respected?
Here’s how I see it.
Sales is leadership.
It’s helping someone see the real issue, not just the symptoms.
It’s helping them acknowledge it matters enough to solve.
And it’s helping them commit to doing the work, and spending the money, to fix it properly.
That requires you to stay centred.
To stand in your authority without becoming arrogant.
To challenge and guide your prospects, especially when they don’t have the skillset or the distance to diagnose the root cause, evaluate the options, and choose the best path forward.
That’s why I ask my clients this…
Do you want to be liked or respected?
Because if you’re liked, people might enjoy the conversation… then do nothing.
But if you’re respected, people listen.
In the same way you listen to a good doctor.
Not because they’re pushy…
But because you trust they understand you, understand your situation, and know what needs to happen next.
And in the end, that’s what great selling looks like.
Warm.
Direct.
And built on earned authority.
