One of the strongest predictors of sales success is empathy – the ability to tune into your buyer’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
But not in the way most people think.
Because there are two types of empathy:
- Cognitive empathy
- Affective empathy
Affective empathy means actually feeling what your buyer feels. When they’re frustrated, you get frustrated. When they’re uncertain, you become uncertain. You end up taking on their stuff. It drains your energy and clouds your judgment.
Cognitive empathy is different. It’s the ability to recognise and understand what your buyer is feeling, without taking it on yourself. Like a good psychologist, you stay clear-headed and outcome-focused, while still connecting deeply with their situation.
This allows you to step back, analyse, and see the bigger picture.
In discovery, cognitive empathy shows up in the emotional nuances most salespeople miss:
- A pause before they answer.
- A subtle change in tone.
- Hesitation in their voice.
That’s your cue to lean in and ask clarifying questions:
- “You paused when I asked about your current system… what’s on your mind?”
- “I heard some frustration when you mentioned the timeline. Help me understand what’s driving that.”
Deals are won in these subtleties. Surface-level discovery never uncovers them. But when you master cognitive empathy, you start hearing what buyers don’t say, and that’s where the real breakthroughs happen.
If you’d like my help improving your sales conversion, reach out. I’m a phone call away.
