Would you like to have as much referral business as you can handle? Would you like to go to sleep at night knowing that the chances are good that you’ll have new business waiting for you the next day, and the next, for as long as you want?
If so, then read on…
Prospecting is, and always will be the key to building a business based on referrals. However, these days, the rules are changing. How many of you still believe networking is simply a matter of going to functions and handing out business cards and hoping someone calls? In the 21st Century, consumers will only buy from you when they have a “know you, like you, trust you” relationship with you.
So, just how do you form such relationships? One way is networking. Networking is the start of a mutual give and take, which results in a winning situation for everyone involved in the transaction.
A dictionary definition of Network is “an arrangement of intersecting lines; a group of people who co-operate with each other; a chain of interconnected operations…” Networking is defined as “the making of contacts and trading information…”
In the words of the old saying, “no man is an island”, no successful person
ever made it without the support of a large network of support. So networking is essential to your ongoing success.
So, how does all this help you?
You are all at the centre of your own particular network. Each of you will
generally know at least 250 people who will of course be at the centre of
their own networks. Each of the people in your network can serve as a source of support (help, referrals, information etc.) for everyone else in the network.
People who realise the strength of networking, realise one very important fact:
We are not dependent on each other; nor are we independent of each other; we are all interdependent on each other.
When you realise that the meaning of the 6 degrees of separation really
means that all the people in your network are also members of other peoples’ networks – people who you don’t personally know, new vistas of opportunity open up.
The Golden Rule.
“All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to,
those people they know, like and trust.”
There is a caveat here… people may know you, like you and trust you, but you have to come up with the goods. If you don’t, you’ll be in danger of losing not only their direct business, but their 250 person sphere of influence as well.
A direct example is my shoe repair man, who also operates as an agent for a dry cleaner. While, I think highly of the gentleman and his ability to repair
my shoes, the dry cleaner did not do such a good job on one of my trousers. So even though I like the man, I won’t give him my dry cleaning, and will in fact go out of my way to give it to someone else.
It isn’t just what or who you know.
The old axiom, “it isn’t what you know, but who you know” is not necessarily useful in gaining business. It is more important for people to know you and what you do. That way, they will seek you out, rather than you having to seek them. Of course, once they’ve found you, the know you, like you, trust you must happen too.
In Summary
- Networking is the cultivating of mutual win-win and give
and take relationships. - We are all interdependent with each other.
- Each of us has a personal sphere of influence of around 250 people or more.
- All other things being equal, people prefer to do business with and refer business to people they know, like and trust.
- It’s not who you know, but who knows you and what you do that really matters.
Leading your Prospects
Would it be useful to be able to lead your prospect in the direction you want them to take? Would you like to know how to steer a conversation?
One of the basic tenets of our philosophy is that we deal with the other person the way they wish to be dealt with. I firmly believe that the old saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", should be rephrased to say, "Do unto others as they would have done unto them!"
Over the last few weeks, I have been seriously thinking about just what makes a great salesperson. I don't know about you, but the pushy types who come on strong and say, "Sign here - press hard, there're 3 copies", just don't do it for me. If anything, I run a mile. I don't want to be "sold" to. I want to feel that the salesperson is on my side, helping me to make the best choice possible (even if this choice is not to buy at this time).
I have concluded, albeit with a small sample, that the most successful salespeople are actually introverts. While this could be construed as a huge generalisation, on reflection, you may realise that by their nature, introverts would not necessarily bombard their prospects and overpower them with stuff about themselves. An introvert is far more likely to listen and be quietly communicative. In doing so they find out far more about their prospects and build a bond.
So, would it be useful to learn how to ask questions and to lead a conversation? Would you be capable of putting your ego in your pocket and just being interested in the other person? Let's face it, we're all interested primarily in ourselves. So using the do unto others principle, be interested in the other person and refrain from talking about yourself as much as possible.
So let's get down to brass tacks. What are the 10 networking question that work every time? I have extracted this list from Bob Burg's wonderful book, Endless Referrals.
Please note that these questions are designed to not be probing in any way. You do not want your prospect to feel uncomfortable at any stage. The chances are also slim that you'll have time to ask all 10 questions. Pick and choose as appropriate.
- How did you get started in the widget business?
People love to talk about themselves. Let them share their story with you. Actively listen! - What do you enjoy most about your profession?
You're looking for feel good, open ended questions here. - What separates your company from the competition?
This is your prospects chance to brag about themselves. In our society, we're taught not to big-note ourselves. Here you're giving your prospect permission to show pride in what he does. - What advice would you give someone just starting in the widget business?
This is the mentor question. It allows your prospect to feel that their knowledge is valued and that they have something to give back. - What would be one thing you would do with your business if you knew you could not fail?
This is aimed at eliciting the person's dream. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Think about how you would respond if someone cared enough to ask you that question. - What significant changes have you seen take place in your profession over the years?
Asking someone who is older will generally get a very positive response. For example, those of us who have been in the computer industry for over 20 years love to talk about how we used punch cards and paper tape - and just how far technology has come, and just how easy people have it these days. You get the idea! - What do you see as the coming trends in the widget business?
Bob calls this the speculator question. You are asking their opinion and making them feel important - that their knowledge is valuable. - What's the strangest or funniest incident you've experienced in your business?
Give people the chance to share their war stories. Everybody has them, and you're providing a willing audience where their friends and family probably wince with a "not again!" - What ways have you found most effective in promoting your business?
Again, you are accentuating the positives in the person's mind, while finding out something about how he thinks. Warning - do not do this if you are in the advertising or promotions business - your prospect will think you're selling! - What is one sentence you would like people to use in describing the way you do business?
This one is the big one! You've paid him a big compliment and asked a question that most people won't.
It's all in the asking!
You may be wondering if you can bombard your prospect with all these questions. Remember that you will really only have the opportunity to ask a few. If you're genuinely interested in the other person, this will come through and they will not only answer your questions, but love you for asking them!
The key question
The one key question that separates the amateurs from the pros is:
"How can I know if someone I'm talking to is a good prospect for you?"
This shows your prospect that you are really serious about helping him succeed. He will sit up and take notice! You will set yourself up as someone worthy to do business with. Learn this question well - and use it. It will pay more dividends than you can imagine.
How to Train the people who network for you
In previous sections, we've covered how to meet people and form a networking relationship. The people in your network now know you, like you and trust you, however, you don't seem to be actually getting referrals.
You may be asking yourself why this is. Well, knowing you is not enough. Your network needs to know specifically what a good prospect for you would be. You need to make it easy for them to funnel prospects to you.
Help people to help you
What do you say when people ask what you do for a living? Is it something like "I'm an engineer,” or "I'm a consultant?” How would this description help your prospect understand what you could do for them? Well, it doesn't! You need to…
Package your services - Verbally
The key to success is giving instead of getting. When you talk in terms of labels or processes such as "I'm an engineer,” you're talking about what you do, rather than what people get. Your prospects then struggle to understand what's in it for them. Your success will be directly proportional to how well people understand what's in it for them, if they use your services.
Create a Meme
When someone asks you what you do, what comes out of your mouth needs to be a meme. So, what's a meme?
A marketing meme is a statement that always accomplishes four things:
- It actively transfers specific information.
- It's immediately and obviously beneficial.
- It's self explanatory and ultra-simple.
- It's easy to replicate in someone's mind.
The generic form is something like:
I help (work with, assist, facilitate) ___________ (name the target market you want to work with) ____________ (name your solution.)
Mine is "I assist people to reduce tolerations and unclutter their lives so that they can focus on what's important to them."
Some additional examples:
Chiropractor - "I assist people heal themselves without drugs."
Insurance - "I show people how to plan for a sound financial future while protecting themselves and their loved ones."
Dentist - I provide healthy teeth and smiles with no pain."
Travel - "I assist people to recharge their batteries with the perfect holiday."
Problems can be great Memes
There can be one big problem when talking about your services in the form of a solution. People spend a lot more time thinking about their pain rather than solutions!
So, turn the meme around:
Chiropractor - "I assist people with nagging back problems that they've been putting up with, but just can't seem to get rid of, get back to better health."
Insurance - "I show people who are worried about how they will live when retired, put together a savings plan to ensure they are taken care of."
Tell people how to know if someone they are talking to would be a good prospect for you.
For example a chiropractor may say, "Anyone who has back or neck pain is a good prospect for me.” A travel agent may say, "Anyone who looks stressed out, and says they need a holiday would be a good prospect for me.”
When asking for referrals - narrow the funnel
When you ask people if they "know someone who…", you are giving them too large a frame of reference. A blurry collage of people will run through their minds, but it's unlikely that they will single any one person out. You need to get specific!
For example:
YOU: Fred, you're a keen golfer, aren't you?
FRED: Yes, been playing for 15 years.
YOU: Hmmm, is there a specific 4-some you play with most of the time?
FRED: Well, yes… there's Joe, Keith, and Robert… why?
YOU: Fred, as far as you know, would any of them need…..?
FRED: Don't know, I'll ask them next time I see them.
Now, none of these people may need what you are offering - right now. However, you have opened up possibilities in Fred's mind - and he could see and grab onto some specific names for you. While you might feel that you are limiting the potential people Fred might know, you will actually increase the number of referrals you actually get.
In Summary:
You need to train people to know how to network for you.
Package your services verbally in the form of a marketing meme.
Tell people how to know if someone they are talking to is a good prospect for you.
Isolate in the referrer's mind specific people who would be a good prospect for you.
Six Essential Rules of Networking Etiquette
In this section we’ll look at the do’s and don’ts of achieving effective networking relationships.
It’s Better To Give Than To Receive.
How do you feel when someone does something for you and makes you feel obligated to return the favour? Not good… This is not networking, it’s trading.
One of the fundamental rules is that when you give something, or do something for someone, do not ask for (or expect) immediate repayment. Sometimes you will never get repaid directly from the person. Just know that it will come back from somewhere – sometimes unexpectedly.
Asking for repayment or letting people know that they owe you something will only lead to resentment on their part. Give to people because you want to help them. Of course we may want help in return, however we don’t want people to FEEL they owe us something, we want them to WANT to owe us.
Find A Mentor
Mentors are successful people who want to share their knowledge. They are the teacher, you are the student. They want to take you under their wing. It is often easier to learn from someone else’s mistakes, so cultivate relationships with people who have been there and done that, and who are willing to share information with you.
When approaching a mentor, don’t just barge in like a bull in a china shop! Make the approach modestly, unassumingly, and with respect. Come into the relationship with the intention of giving more than receiving. Establish the relationship gradually based on mutual give and take, and always try to do more for the person than they are doing for you.
Anthony Robbins talks about finding a “Master Mind Group.” Form an association with a group of people who are more successful than you are. You become who you mix with.
Keep An Eye On The Clock
When networking, especially when asking for advice, keep an eye on the clock and respect the other person’s time. I always ask if this is a good time to talk for a (whatever length of time). Respecting someone’s time is especially important when they don’t know you personally. Imagine phoning someone and machine gunning them with questions, what you do etc., when they don’t know you from Adam!
Know When To Stop
Don’t take advantage for your contacts. If you’re pumping them for information in an area of their professional expertise (where they also make a living), it’s rude to not offer to pay for this advice. If they do seminars on the topic, imagine how they feel if you keep them on the phone for an hour asking for information. A little consideration goes a long way!
Follow Through On Promises
How do you feel if someone promises you something and doesn’t follow through? How do you feel having to contact them and ask again? Don’t get yourself into this situation – follow through on what you said you’d do for the other person. This is all about building trust and showing your contacts that you are a dependable person to do business with.
Don’t Annoy a Referred Prospect
You’ve got a “hot” lead. You pick up the phone and the person has no idea who the referrer is or why you would be calling them. Don’t get irate, or rude with the prospect. Respectfully terminate the conversation and get back to the referrer and let them know the result. This is now your chance to educate your contact as to what would make a good lead for you.
Say (and Write) Thank You Notes
This should go without saying, but bears repeating anyway. Regardless whether the lead turns into a massive sale or a bomb, let the referrer know how much you appreciate the referral.
Key Points
- In order to maintain and build our network, we need to adhere to some rules of networking etiquette.
- When you give something or do something for someone, do not ask (or expect) immediate repayment.
- When seeking a mentor, approach modestly, unassumingly and respectfully, with the aim of giving more than you receive.
- Keep an eye on the clock.
- Follow through on promises.
- Don’t annoy a referred prospect.
- Say (and write) thank you notes.
Common Misconceptions about Networking
There are a number of common misconceptions about networking that may stop you from going out there and just doing it. You may be thinking, “I went once – and didn’t meet anyone useful and nothing happened…” or “I’m just not the networking type” etc.
You may also believe that networking is nothing more than mixers and superficial cocktail parties. Mixers and cocktails are good for connecting with people you already know and deepening the relationship. Life is all about connections!
Networking is about building relationships over time, about building community. It’s about keeping in touch with people. This is the KEY to success!
I often get asked if it’s useful to network with a peer group. The short answer is YES. Associating with your peers will lead to your discovering what’s happening in your industry. If you have a particular speciality, your peers will understand and even send you leads. Mind you, you should do the same for them, too.
How to find a group
Not every group is the same. Finding groups that suit you is like dating. You have to have chemistry! Check out lots of groups and attend a few of their functions before deciding to join. When you do join, you may find that everyone is selling, and no one seems to be buying! You have to be patient. Networking is not transitional activity – you have to have long term relationships which will pay off in time.
Remember, people will do business with people they know, like and trust. People will also rather do business with people they have met face to face. If you want to be successful, you have to develop a passion and longing to connect with other people. Successful networking is like courting your spouse. Patience, credibility and trust will win the day.
Once you’ve joined a group or two you can have ten times more visibility if you:
- Get involved. Be a leader. You will be noticed.
- Arrive early, leave late – and talk to people.
- Be a connector of people.
- Keep your associates informed about what you are doing.
- Work at giving referrals – go for quality, not quantity.
- Work the group deep, not just wide.
- Understand that it can take several months to years to get quality referrals back.
- There are some common mistakes in networking which include:
- Thinking short term rather than long term.
- Not setting up longer face-to-face meeting after meeting someone to really connect and learn about each other’s businesses.
- Not giving, just taking is not going to get you far, either. You have to put stuff back in!
- Keeping in touch will pay dividends!
- You have to keep in touch regularly via the phone, email or post. Send relevant, useful, actionable information to your network on a regular basis.
- It’s not about what you do, but what they get!!!
- Send postcards to your network when you’re on holiday.
- Don’t just send Christmas Cards – and get lost in the crowd. Make up your own special occasions and send cards during the year.
Leverage the power of personal endorsements
Work with other businesses who would service the same demographic, but with different products that don’t compete with yours. Your aim is to leverage their association with their clients to promote your business.
For instance, your accountant could deal with lots of businesses that could be clients of yours. Create a joint venture to promote BOTH your businesses. This is one example of how you could go about it.
Talk to your accountant
“I was thinking about you. A lot of your clients are like ours. We are not competitors, so how about we put on a free workshop on (a topic you consult in that would be of interest to the accountant’s clients).
The invitation would be on the accountant’s stationery and say something along the lines of,
“We value your business, so we thought we would invite you to a free seminar on ….., so that you can benefit from hearing about….” etc.
You can decide how to split the costs, or just pay them yourself.
An alternative to a seminar could be sending some information via the accountant that would be useful to his clients. Send them a free book, or tape with no obligation.
Wouldn’t you be more likely to read or listen to something that has been sent to you personally from someone you know? This is much more effective than a mass mail out.
There is a triple win here!
The accountant’s clients will gain valuable information.
The accountant wins as his clients feel valued, leading to more loyalty back to the accountant and increased business.
You win, as you get known, leading to more clients.
Another successful method is to get together with 4 to 5 other non competing businesses with a similar client demographic and have each one invite 2 clients to a small, informal function at one of your homes. This way, the clients can all mix with each other, as well as the businesses hosting the event, leading to new associations that could turn out to be mutually profitable.
Okay, that’s it for now.
One final thought – The whole reason for networking is to eventually stop having to network!
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